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The news is in, and it sucks. Honestly, I had heard from some good sources that Stewart’s appeal would go through and he would be racing the Nationals this year, so this is a heavy blow. I hate it; I hate the fact that we are governed by regulating bodies that have no real interest in our sport in America. FIM has their hand in Supercross, but not in the outdoors. I was angry when I heard this because I did not know why James couldn’t race the Nationals. But apparently, the Nationals subscribe to regulations from USADA, which is basically a puppet for WADA. From what I understand, willingly allowing a suspended rider to ride the Nationals could result in legal action, and no one wants that. It appears that we are up s**t’s creek on this.
I cannot help but notice the uncanny differences between what is happening here and the exact reasons our forefathers rose up against the tyrannical reign of the British in the late 1700s. They would not stand for taxation without representation, and I feel like that is exactly what we are doing. We are being taxed of seeing the sport’s most talented rider on the track, with the infraction being a slip-up in paperwork. This is absurd, and I positively guarantee that absolutely no American input was taken into consideration in making their decision. WADA has been a disaster – from this absurd punishment, to the wait time on their decisions, which is enough to turn a man as grey as an Gandalf’s pubes. Let’s not also forget that WADA has been ineffective in stamping out drug use in the sport. We have riders ALLEGEDLY being caught by their teams with illicit substances. Let’s think about that: I don’t think that pro riders are dumb enough to risk being banned that easily, which means that they are confident that they will not get caught. WADA “setting an example” with James has been useless.
Unfortunately, I think the FIM and WADA knew in making this decision that Americans have an attention span the length of an Instagram video, so they know that no matter how pissed we are, it will all wash over pretty soon. So I encourage you not to forget how f****d we all got on this. I think the coolest thing that could happen (but I’m about 98% sure will NOT happen) is that James goes on the MXdN team this year and wipes the floor. I hope against hope that James does come back for the Nationals that he will be allowed to ride, and then we send him to France and he middle fingers the ever-loving s**t out of everyone. It will not happen, but I will have a BROner the size of the Sear’s Tower if it does.
Now, I am not saying let’s all go grab our muskets and head to the FIM offices, although blasting through the door leading with the business end of a bayonet would probably be awesome, purely to see the look on their faces as the s**t is literally scared out of them. I do think the FIM and WADA officials should see first hand how pissed off we all are, though. If you see them, do not hurt them, but maybe throw water on them or something, like you do with your dog when it does something bad. It’s not that it’s a bad dog – it’s just kind of dumb and didn’t really think at all about what it was doing. At all. I think if we all started going to the races with spray bottles filled with water, and just sprayed the FIM guys when we see them, that would send the right message. No, that’s bad!
Girls, you can help, too. I feel like all the FIM and WADA officials are creepy, old guys, almost like from a 1920s time warp. I am picturing Boardwalk Empire, but without the awesome gangster factor. Anyway, what I am getting at is they will try to f**k you, because all men on the planet who rise to a position of power are about 75% motivated by the idea that more girls will have sex with them. So if you find yourself in that position, getting hit on by the creepy FIM and WADA dudes, play along. Go back to their hotel room. I think there might be chains; scratch that, there will definitely be chains. They will want you to chain them up, like some freaky Euro s**t. Do it. Once they are secure, say to them, “This is for James”, and just steal everything in their hotel room and walk out. You will have done your country a service. Viva la Revolution. Viva la JS7.
